I'm Not A Popstar Today!
I'm an artist; I'm Rolf Harris!
I'm not a popstar today!
I'm Paul Daniels; I am small, I am bald with a bird called Debby McGee!

(Laughter)

I've gone a bit mad today!
I've gone bonkers!
I've gone loopy!
I've gone a bit mad today!
I've gone mental!
I went cuckoo!
I think I'm a touch insa-a-a-a-ane!

Shall we do it again?

I'm not a popstar today!
I'm a farmer; I'm Old MacDonald!
I'm not a popstar today!
I'm a footballer with big boots, hairy legs and a big, massive muscly chest!

(Laughter)

I've gone a bit mad today!
I've gone bonkers!
I've gone loopy!
I've gone a bit mad today!
I've gone mental!
I went cuckoo!
I think I'm a touch insa-a-a-a-ane!

I'm not a popstar today!
I'm -beep- -beep-!
I go (Laughter)!
I'm not a popstar today!
I'm Knight Rider! I've got a big car, that talks to me and twiddles my hair when I'm on the beach!

Goodnight!

(Alright boys, wrap it up now...)