Hold a candle to a naked flame
Ask the atheist his Christian name
Try parachuting from a burning plane
Finding someone else you could blame

If I ever thought you'd be lonely
If I ever thought you'd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
Painted pony
You'd be there

Eskimo heart
Bedouin throat
A butcher trussed up in a camel hair coat
A crowning in the castle
A drowning in the moat
Ocean dried,
Desert afloat

If I ever thought you'd be lonely
If I ever thought you'd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
My one and only
You'd be there

One for the lady,
One for the gent
Signatures in wet cement,
And if you ever ask,
What I meant then I'd never know,
Then I'd never know