Текст песни Jon Lajoie - Fuck Everything

Yo, other rappers claim to not give a fuck
Well, step aside, bitches
Cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible

(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say, "fuck everything"
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees
Fuck the sun, I don't need heat or vitamin D
And fuck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters, I use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters, with your useless cock-a-doodle-doo
We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you
Don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And fuck the movie "The Fan", starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition Man's" the only Snipes movie I like
And fuck likin' shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not likin' all the shit I don't like
Like tissues, fuck 'em, I'll blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a fuck about seeing, bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind
And fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long, they should be half-an-hour at most
And fuck coasts, don't give a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just cause you float, you think you're so fuckin' bad?
And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but

(I don't give a fuck)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything
(I don't give a fuck)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffeeshop and ordered a cup
The girl said, "small, medium, large?" I said, "bitch, I don't give a
Fuck!"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright!"
Don't give a fuck about beverage size options, motherfucker
And I don't give a fuck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
And fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
I prefer the body of bat and the head of a coyote
I call myself "Batyodi" and I fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman, but motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday
Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
And fuck birth, enterin' the world of space and time is a bitch
Searchin' for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays?
If I want ice, I'll go to the fuckin' corner store and buy a bag
Fillin' you up and waitin' for the water to freeze is a motherfuckin' drag
You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus

(I don't give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything

If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a fuck about winnin', yo
And don't even give a fuck about not givin' a fuck
So I do give a fuck - wait, what?

(I give a fuck)
About everything, I love everyone and care 'bout everything
(I give a fuck)
I literally care about every motherfuckin' thing