Текст песни Frank Zappa - Harry & Rhonda

Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Chuck Wild (piano)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Jay Anderson (string bass)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Terry Bozzio (vocals)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals)
Bob Harris (vocals)
Johnny "Guitar" Watson (vocals)

RHONDA: (stage whisper)
HARRY, this is not DREAM GIRLS!

HARRY: (stage whisper)
They told me it had c-c-colored folk in it, RHONDA, and that's ALWAYS a sure sign of GOOD, SOLID, MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT! How was I supposed to know they'd be this ugly?

RHONDA:
They pissed on us, HARRY! They fuckin' pissed on us! Look at my fox!

HARRY:
I know, dearbut they pissed on me toohe did say they were INCONTINENT!

RHONDA:
Just smell this! I think we should get out of here before they do something else to us!

HARRY:
Leave? Now? At these ticket prices? Just hold your horsesit probably wasn't REAL PISS only 'theater piss'they probably have a formula some special stuffcomes right outta the fur with Woolite

RHONDA:
What's happened to Broadway, HARRY? Used to be you could come to one of these things and the wind would be RUSHING DOWN THE PLAIN or a fairy on a string would go over the audiencebut NOW! Harry, I ask you: is THIS entertainment?

HARRY:
You're absolutely correct, dear! So far we haven't seen a single good-looking pair of legsa single sequin-encrusted whatchamacallit no firm, rounded breasts! This show is a DISASTER, RHONDA! A complete and utter DISASTER!

THING-FISH:
Mmmm! Say derehey! Umm-hmm! Thass right! HEY YOU! You two ugly white folksover heahhh!

As you know, de presence of carboniferous hard-core unemployables has gen'rally, in de historical past, GUARANTEED an evenin' of upliftin' FROLIC and CAVORTMENTit'd be a shame fo y'all t'miss out on dis here one! Got some nice chairs fo' ya, rights ovuh heahhh

HARRY & RHONDA rise, cross to THING-FISH, and sit in the chairs he offers They are immediately chained to them by The MAMMIES

HARRY:
Uhhhbeg pardon? What's going on here?

RHONDA:
Oh! They're touching me! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY! HARRY, do something! THEY'RE PUTTING CHAINS ON ME! I'LL BE STUCK TO THE CHAIR! Oh! What'll I do? I'LL MISS INTERMISSION!

HARRY:
They're only 'theater chains', RHONDA! Just some sort of

RHONDA:
THESE ARE REAL GODDAM CHAINS, HARRY, AND THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME OFF WITH WOOLITE!

HARRY:
I don't mind the way they feelthey don't bother me, honeyrelax! Go with the flow

RHONDA:
HARRY, YOU ARE AN OVER-EDUCATED SHIT-HEAD!

THING-FISH:
Look here, folksdis only fo yo own protexium! Once we gets rollin' heah, things be happnin' all over de place dat could prove dangerous to persons not previously acquainted wit de SAN QUENTIM MASH- POTATOES!

RHONDA:
I want the wind to come rushing down the plain! I want fairies on a string over the audience! I want REAL BROADWAY ENTERTAINMENT! Feathers! Spot-lights! Guilt! Hours upon hours of GUILT! About my mother! About my father! About brave women, suffering at the hands of infantile, insensitive, dominating men! And what do I get? A Potato-headed jig-a-boo with Catholic clothes on! Incomprehensible duck lips! Weak bladders draining through abnorminably large organs! Jesus, HARRY! What the FUCK is going on here?

HARRY:
Simmer down! If you'll just roll with the punchesand don't rock the boat, I'm sure we'll have a lovely evening at the theater!

THING-FISH:
Thass right! We got fairies on a string fo yo ass jes' a little later! Meanwhile, I b'lieves y'all requires some updatement on de CO-LOG-NUH situatium! Sister OB'DEWLLA 'X'! Express yo'seff!